An Unforgettable Friendship

Sometimes you hear a story that you'll never forget. This is one of those stories. A friendship between 2 young men, one of them is blind and the other one has no legs and the woman who changes their lives and makes them a family. You can watch their story here and after you do share it.

18 weeks later...

My son is home. My Navy sailor. He's tired, nearly 40 pounds thinner, and so happy to be home with his family, the Beagle and his friends. Have a great weekend with those you love.

A Special Friday Flashback

Today is my anniversary. A day to look back and more importantly look forward.
This is one of my favorite romantic movies, enjoy watching the scene where Jon and Sara finally meet in Serendipity.
True love is worth waiting for. P, you were worth the wait.

19 years

19 years ago this evening I enjoyed a delicious Italian dinner, saw Jurassic Park at the movie theater, went into labor and delivered my son. It was a long night. He was born so quickly only his father, my best friend Wynter and a nurse were in the room at 3:30 am on June 15, 1993. We were home from the hospital 24 hours later.

I remember every birthday of his life...his 1st birthday party with his own little cake he could smash into his fists and stuff in his mouth, the birthday parties at indoor amusement parks, his 4th birthday when he erupted in chickenpox at the party, his 5th birthday trip to Disney World to find Peter Pan and all the parties that included dinosaurs, Harry Potter, Legos and water gun fights with his friends.

This will be the only birthday in his 19 years that we have not been together. As a mother I hope that even though he is in bootcamp being pushed to his limits, that he knows that his family and friends are thinking of him and sending him love.

"The Doll House"

For the first time in 19 years I am living alone. After my son left for basic training it took me a few days until I was ready to pick up the towel he left on his bathroom floor, wash his sheets, put away his laptop and clean up the "man cave" basement where he hung out with his friends during his last weeks at home. Now that I am beginning to adjust to my life as an empty-nester I'm finding it fun to have a home to decorate without sports equipment, video games and boy stuff.

As I settle into my new routine, my fridge and pantry are full of fruits and veggies instead of meat and dairy, the windows are open, and my favorite radio station is playing music from the 30's and 40's whenever I am home. I have more wine in the house, more high heels scattered around the house, clothes and hats on tailor mannequins, bowls full of jewelery on tables, new girly smelling soaps and lotions in the bathroom and vintage pictures on the walls.

My 1950's bungalow is full of period details and because I purchased it from the original owners it was well loved and rarely updated. I'm adding my own touches such as my home library, remodeled basement, raised vegetable beds in the large newly fenced-in yard, new landscaping around multiple patio areas and lots of vintage pieces.  I'm considering adding large mirrors to a wall in the basement with a ballet bar to create an area to stretch and dance.

Although I am sad my son is not around to ask me repeatedly, "What are you making for lunch Mom?" or "Where are my shoes?" or "Is there gas in the car?" and I miss cooking his favorite meals, watching movies together, and waking up in the middle of the night when he comes home and wants to talk, I'm adapting to finally having a little home exactly the way I want it. My own doll house.

Maternal

The definition of Mother's Day on Wikipedia is "Mother's Day is a celebration that honors mothers and motherhood, maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers in society". For the 19 years I've been a Mom, I've enjoyed the simple celebrations on Mother's Day such as homemade cards, gifts wrapped in cartoon newspaper and flowers. 


This year it was an important day as it is likely the last Mother's Day I will spend with my son for the next few years while he is serving in the Navy. Mother's Day fell on the last day of my vacation so I changed my flight, took the red-eye from Los Angeles and arrived home in Chicago before my son woke up that morning. My son and a friend made me chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast, we watched movies cuddled up on the sofa, took chocolates to Paul's mother and enjoyed dinner at home. It really was a lovely day. The best part...that my son was happy just to be with me. 


Motherhood has been the greatest gift and adventure of my life. When my son leaves on May 31 for his 4 years of active duty I will try and adapt my daily life without him in our home. I will join the millions of parents who have watched their children leave home for college, military service or to begin their adult lives. I will keep breathing and wait for the day he comes home. 


To all the Moms who wake up in the middle of the night when a baby cries, or a toddler has a nightmare or when your teenager isn't home yet...to the Moms who buy Hallmark cards with silly images and wear spaghetti necklaces and earrings from gumball vending machines...to the Moms who find it hard to live without daily talks and texts from their children, I'm with you. And to the Dads that do the same, especially those that are Mother and Father to their children...I'm with you. There just isn't enough time with our children...

Happy Birthday Bette Davis

Regular readers of my blog know that I am a Bette Davis addict as proclaimed in other posts:

Bette Davis Eyes

Monday 5 List #1

Films with Style and Romance

"I Live in 2 Worlds"

April is the birth month of "Bright Eyes" Davis (April 5, 1908) and here are never seen photographs of her in her prime that Life magazine is publishing. Love.

When Life As You Know It Changes

My son enlisted in the Navy yesterday. He leaves 10 weeks from today. He will turn 19 years old 2 weeks later.

I've never been apart from my son for more than 2 weeks. He was born when I was a 22 year old single mother and we've been our own little family unit his entire life. As a parent he has been my priority day and night whether he was physically beside me, with his father, his friends etc... "Where is he?" "Is he eating?" "Is he warm enough?" "Is he happy?" I don't know what will happen when he leaves, when all communication must stop during his 9 weeks at boot camp.

In typical Librarian fashion when a major change happens in my life I turn to books. When I was pregnant I read, What to Expect When You're Expecting. When he was a little boy and liked dressing up as Peter Pan, a pirate or knight and brought home jars full of bugs I read books with titles like, Raising Boys and Boys Should Be Boys. I learned about the sports he played by reading books by coaches of lacrosse, soccer, football, fencing and basketball. When he told me he wanted to leave college and enlist, I researched the branches of the US military. And now that he is leaving our home I might start reading books like, 133 Ways to Avoid Going Cuckoo When the Kids Fly the Nest: A Parent's Guide For Surviving Empty Nest Syndrome.

When I wonder about his future I worry how the life of a soldier will affect him. Will he see combat? Will he retain his individuality? Will he get an education? My son is a wonderful young man, smart and funny, loyal to his friends, compassionate and kind and accepting of all cultures, religions and lifestyles. I'm proud of him and find comfort that he was raised as a child of the modern world.

My family and friends advise me that everything will be ok. My wonderful partner Paul who is also an empty nester with 2 children in college out of state is my comfort as are my parents and friends who I know will surround my son and I with love and support during these final weeks he is home and the first few weeks he is gone.

So on June 1 when I wake up to an empty house without my daily responsibilities of cooking and cleaning for a teenage boy, curling up on the sofa and watching movies together, worrying when he comes home late, walking the dog together, planning family vacations, hearing his laughter in the basement with his friends, and getting giant bear hugs from his 6'7 body, I will remember I raised him right and that he will make a difference in the world.

Stories are Everywhere

I'm at work. It's about 8:30 pm and as I'm sitting at the reference desk I can see and hear the library bustling around me.

A few feet away from me in an aisle between the books on trains and the oversize travel books a mother and her son are reading together. The mother has placed her coat on the floor like a blanket and is laying on her side. Her son is curled up against her as she turns the pages. I can hear them as the mother points to pictures and her son reacts with "ohs" and "ahs". There is a large pile of books at their side and the boy is holding a large zip loc bag full of toy train tracks.

As the mother murmurs to him and describes the places and cultures in the pictures he asks her question after question. She quietly answers him and creates story after story. The Library will close at 10 pm and I think they might be here until then, curled up on the floor, completely at home in the Library and with the stories they are creating.

Why Date a Girl Who Reads?

This post is perfect. Really...I've never read a better description of girls who love to read and the special partners they need. Thanks Norah, you get us.

October Update

Hi readers. As it's my birthday today and I've got a busy day planned this is going to be a short update. I wanted to share with you a video I created for the ILA Video Shootout. For more information on the Video Shootout, check the Facebook page and video submissions on the YouTube page.

As a present to myself I bought the new 11 inch MacBook Air. This beautiful little laptop weighs less than 2 pounds, is as thin as a magazine and is the perfect computer for traveling. For the ILA Video Shootout I had about 10 minutes to capture video on my iPhone and then about 30 minutes to learn iMovie on my new Mac and create a video. What you see below if my first iMovie.

So I'm signing off readers to start enjoying my birthday. Thoughts on the last year...I started my 40th with a trip to Paris, went scuba diving in the Virgin Islands, spent Christmas with my family in Florida, visited my sister and her family in Denver, bought a new house, started a new job, fell in love and finished my 40th year off with a trip to Spain and Africa. How will I top that at 41? Starting with a lovely weekend, my parents are visiting and we will go antique shopping, relax at home, enjoy Chicago and hang out with my son and my partner Paul. Happiness is the greatest gift of all.

Back in Chicago

I know, I know...it's been more than a month since I've posted. And what a month its been.

• Spain and N. Africa
  
• Amazing adventures
• Rode a camel named Sabrina on the beach in Africa
  
• Bargained in the cazbah
• Shopped in the spice markets
• Saw churches full of gold
  
• Spent a week in the mountains of Spain with no cell phones, limited wi-fi, just lots of laughs and nights drinking under the stars
• Acted in a Woody Allen play
• Spent magical nights wandering through small Spanish towns at 3 am
• Met amazing people and made new friends for life
  

I left to travel in summer and now it's fall in Chicago, my favorite season of the year. A time for apple picking, antiquing, working on my home remodeling projects, hosting friends for dinner parties, hot tubbing and snuggling in front of the fire watching football.
As the season slows life down, I will blog about my travels.

Enjoy the weekend readers!

Picture of my traveling partner Diana and I on our last night in Spain.

Monday List #17

My Kid starts college today. Honestly I woke up this morning and thought, "What the hell, I'm not old enough to have a kid in college!" Alas, it's true.

I had a great time in college. Those days seem so long ago but also right there on the edge of my memory. So for today's Monday list I thought I would share some of the lessons I learned in college and hope that he experiences some of the best years of his life.

1. Embrace each other's differences. When I attended Ohio University in Athens Ohio, I was one of the only students from out of state, most of my classmates were from small towns throughout Ohio. Some were raised on farms, others were from affluent suburbs around larger cities and a few were "townies" from Athens. It was wonderful to attend a college where you could start over, leave your high school friends behind, embrace different clubs, perhaps join a sorority or fraternity like I did, try out different intermural sports and figure out who you were and who you wanted to be. I made wonderful friends, who still 20+ years later are some of the closest and most important people in my life. I hope for my son that he meets people that change his life.
2. Study. I was one of those college students who changed majors frequently and only studied for a final the night before in an "all-nighter". At one point I was a theater major and thankfully didn't have a lot of finals in my classes. I tried it all, CPR classes, dance, psychology, English major...It broadened my views of the world and introduced me to interesting and diverse people. I hope for my son that he studies, no matter what he chooses to major in. Don't wait until the night before.
3. Stick to the meal plan. My Kid is 6'7 and over 200 lbs. Trying to keep him fed is like feeding a small group of starving boy scouts in the wilderness. Sometimes I just leave the food out and get out of the way. I will be happy when I can sign him up for the largest meal plan the college offers. It's also a great way to get to know your classmates. Talking over an early morning meal or late night pizza binge, but remember you cannot survive for 4 years on food that is served in tinfoil wrappers.
4. Participate. Don't be the kid sitting in his room playing video games or sad songs on your guitar. Sports, clubs, Greek life, student life, just do it all. You only have 1 small part of your life in college. Don't regret not experiencing it.
5. Find your core group of friends. You won't survive college without a posse. You will find them in your classes, or where you live, or by your social interests. You will find your wingman who will be by your side for all your crazy schemes. Your friends will be there every morning when you are hung over (come on, it's going to happen), every night while you study (I hope) and on the occasional weekend when you need a ride home to see your Mom (count on it). These friends will still be there when you meet "the one" and later when you graduate, get hired at your first job, marry, and have your first child.

I hope you have it all Kid. I'll be here at home when you need a break.

A Fairy Wedding in the English Countryside

Beautiful slideshow, photographs are by Mario Testino in the September issue of American Vogue.

Model Kate Moss marries her rocker boyfriend. Stunning, romantic and classy. Well done Kate.

You can see the photos here. My favorite, the photo of them under the tree...gorgeous and the red coat she has on over her wedding dress...love it.

A Dog's Life

My Beagle is named after precocious Eloise from Kay Thompson's famous children's book, Eloise at the Plaza. My sweet girl loves belly rubs, rooting through the garbage, food, chasing rabbits and squirrels, food, napping on the air conditioner floor vent, food, long evening walks, exploring her large yard, stealing my son's food and sleeping in my reading chair.

Just because we love her here are 2 of my favorite recent pictures including 1 of her at my front door watching the world go by with my niece.
"Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring-it was peace."- Milan Kundera.

6,570 Days

My baby is 18 years old today. My son stands at 6'7, has graduated from high school, has a girl friend and is going to college in the fall. Honestly, I don't know when that all happened. I can remember the rush to the hospital in the middle of the night, his impatience to enter the world so quickly that the doctor never made it to deliver him, us being discharged within 24 hours and going home to my little apartment to begin our life together. What an adventure it's been.

I had my son at a young age and although I raised him rather unconventionally I believe that's why we have such a close relationship. We shared a small apartment in Chicago and I worked at home so we were always together. I didn't have any friends with babies so we made friends in our City neighborhood and he was always surrounded by children of all ages, nationalities and backgrounds. I never fed him baby food such as rice cereal or crap from a jar, even 18 years ago I was making his food myself and feeding him what he calls my "veggie weirdness" (although he eats every bite!) Plastic pacifiers, bottles and fake food never crossed his lips, I tell people now that is why he is 6'7 inches tall and over 200 pounds. When I was scared that he had a fever or unsure of what to do I read my trusted book, What to Expect the First Year and felt like I had a friend with me telling me that I was doing everything ok.

While we lived in Chicago I had him in non traditional schools, a wonderful preschool near Wrigley Field (an excellent school run by the JCC, a Jewish Center even though he was one of the only non Jewish children in his class because I wanted him exposed to all beliefs), then the excellent Chiaravalle Montessori in Evanston near Northwestern University. As an only child he thrived in Montessori, I believe his experiences there created the social person he is today. I don't believe in mainstream kindergarten so he stayed in Montessori until we found an excellent school system and moved to the area where we live now. Through it all, the moves, my marriages, our travels, he has remained in school with the same kids since he was 6 years old and it's been a joy to watch them grow up together.

As I look back on his 18 years it's like watching a movie. I can dial up a memory and it's there in my mind...his first word, his first steps (he never crawled, just went from sitting to standing to walking), his first trip to the emergency room, the notes he wrote to the tooth fairy, cookies for Santa Claus, his first trip to Disney World, science fairs, his obsession with Peter Pan and swords, his first trips to London, Paris, Ireland, playing every sport ever invented (T-ball, baseball, basketball, fencing, swimming, track and field, football, lacrosse, soccer, frisbee, scuba diving, hockey), first days of school, Halloween costumes, bad dreams, childhood illness, it's all there in my memories.

My Kid is an amazing young man and I'm excited for the next chapter of our lives. My boy is 18 and I'm 40. I guess life begins again. I can't even imagine the adventures we will have.

When 1 Door Closes...

Another opens. Today is my last day at the wonderful Library where I have worked for the past 6 years. As I clean out my desk, hug colleagues who have become friends, get teary eyed saying goodbye to patrons and pack up the gifts, cards and trinkets staff have given me as a goodbye, I'm sad. It's been the best work experience of my life so far and I will miss it all.


So in wrapping up, here are a few of my favorite things:

• The patrons. I've watched pregnant moms walk in, then later I've cooed at their newborns and finally applauded as those children got their first library card in kindergarten. It's been a pleasure to watch families in the Library. More importantly, it's validating that they USE the Library.
• Being a reference librarian. Sure you get the impossible questions, "I need a book... I don't know the title or the author but it had a red cover." LOVED those questions.
  
• Being a technology instructor. I made a difference in people's lives. I taught patrons how to set up an email account, how to surf the Internet, how to apply for jobs, how to connect with long lost family and friends. Absolutely the most rewarding part of my job. It was amazing to be a part of the process. My most recent favorite, helping a young couple who visited the library the week before Christmas last year. They arrived with an elderly man who was the young man's father. They were trying to get to Las Vegas for Christmas with their newborn and the older gentleman but couldn't fly and needed to either take the train or a bus. I showed them resources online and how to buy travel tickets, it took them a few days on the train but they got there. It was the man's last trip to see his family before he died.
  
• Those you work with. What can I say...so many of my colleagues are cherished friends. That won't change.
  
• The Unexpected. The car that drove through the Library windows. The car that drove into the front of the Library. The animals that wandered into the lobby. Rarely dull in a public library.
  
• The learning. Someone has a question about a disease, you help them find the resources to research it. Someone needs tax forms, or permits or do-it-yourself legal documents. Every time you assist a patron you learn a little bit more.

Being a Librarian is the greatest job in the world. I'm sad to leave what's been a fantastic job but so excited to start anew at an exceptional Library.

Gotta wrap things up at work and then it's off to a local bar, my colleagues are giving me a proper send off. Good thing I can walk home if needed, I love a good celebration!

Happy Mother's Day

A day for spending with your mom, remembering your mom, loving your children, petting your furry pet babies. It's a day for moms of all types.
I've been blessed, I was raised by an amazing mother, who also was raised by an amazing mother. My mother gave me the love, freedom and support to be myself, to follow an unconditional path, to make mistakes, to keep on trying. No matter what, I know that my mother will be there, by my side...to hold my hand...to pick me up...to wipe my tears...to cheer me on...to encourage my crazy...to laugh at my moxy.

Having a wonderful mother showed me that motherhood is life's greatest joy. At 22 years old, when I dropped out of college to have my own baby I wasn't scared or cautious, I just became a mother. Now as my baby is about to turn 18 years old and start a life on his own, my days of motherhood are changing...but still I learn everyday from my Mom about how to be a mother.

So today as we celebrate moms, I celebrate the moms who made a difference in my life. Thank you.

1. My Mom. She is my comfort, my counsel. She combined a career with motherhood, family, service, and friendship. My love of travel and parties comes from her. I am athletic because we biked, skied, swam, sailed and played together. She surrounds herself with people who make her happy and reminds me that life is short, take chances, make your own happiness. If there is beauty she finds it, if friends are alone she invites them, what she has she shares, what she knows she teaches. She is who I want to be. Pure love.

2. Grandma MeMe. Strong, ahead of her time, earthy, funny, friendly, a devoted wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend. I remember her beautiful hands, her laugh, when she fell asleep watching 80's sitcoms in her bean bag chair, her legendary family recipes, rocking on her porch swing, stopping by the Mexican restaurant near the beach in Gulfport Florida after a day of swimming with my friends to find her drinking beer at the bar with her friends. She hung my son's tiny baby sock in her bedroom and would have loved that he is now a giant man of 6'6. She loved all my boyfriends. She wrote me lots of letters. She told me I was beautiful and I believed her.

3. Sharon. Oh her love for life. Her beauty. Her courage. Her kindness to me when I needed it most. Her ability to multitask with 4 children so she never missed a game, a dance, a party. We were almost sister-in-laws as we loved 2 brothers, she was my maid of honor but died 4 months before my wedding. As our sons who are good friends get ready for prom and high school graduation next month, I miss her more and more, we would have had such fun watching our babies leave the nest. I see you there my friend, near the fireplace.

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Washington Irving

A Life Well Lived-Elizabeth Taylor

Last July I posted a book review of the biography of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, Furious Love: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, and the Marriage of the Century.
The post turned out to be one of the most visited on my blog. I have a great admiration for Elizabeth Taylor and was deeply saddened to wake up to the news of her death this morning. Her breathtaking beauty, her unforgettable talent, the great love affairs, her passionate dedication to raising funds, increasing understanding and educational awareness of AIDS, her love for family, her amazing jewelry collection. Sigh...what a life.
You can read more about my thoughts on Elizabeth and her amazing life by visiting the book review linked above. For today's post I am listing my favorite movies Elizabeth was in and a short list of recommended books about her life.

1. Jane Eyre. The 1944 version starring Orson Welles and Joan Fontaine was also one of the first films Elizabeth acted in, an uncredited role as the tragic Helen Burns. This movie haunted me as a child, Elizabeth Taylor was even as a child unforgettable, she breaks your heart.
2. National Velvet. The ultimate movie for every little girl that was ever horse crazy. This film made her a star at age 12.
3. Father of the Bride. The perfect father daughter relationship, the perfect wedding.
4. Giant. Taylor and James Dean. Enough said.
5. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. Taylor and Paul Newman. Enough said. And boy can she act. Oh and the sexiest white slip ever worn on film.
6. Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?. Sure she did the outrageous Anthony and Cleopatra with Richard Burton, but her role as Martha in this film is hard to watch, she's nasty and vulnerable, even more fascinating that she was really married to Burton when they played spouses in this film.
   
7. The "Is That Elizabeth Taylor?" Roles. General Hospital and North and South. I just watched because it was Taylor.

And a few books you might enjoy:

• Furious Love: Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton and the Marriage of the Century
• Elizabeth Taylor: My Love Affair with Jewelry
• Elizabeth Taylor: A Life in Pictures
• Liz: The Pictorial Biography of Elizabeth Taylor
  

Here is what I am wondering? If you believe in Heaven, then Elizabeth Taylor has finally been reunited with many of the great loves of her life, a number of her 7 husbands and friends like Michael Jackson. For the woman who lived some of the greatest love stories of the last century, which husband is she with... her great love, the died tragically young Mike Todd or the man she married twice, the larger than life Richard Burton? After all there is only 1 Elizabeth Taylor, even in Heaven.

Do You Have A "Velveteen Rabbit"

A favorite book of mine and millions of readers is The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams. This touching tale of a stuffed bunny who becomes real through the love of the boy who owns him is timeless and moving.

One of the reasons I love this book so much is because I remember being a little girl and hoping that when I turned off the lights at night or left my room in the morning my toys would came alive. Decades before the movie Toy Story imagined what happens when a human leaves their toys alone, The Velveteen Rabbit captured imaginations with "What if my toys were real?"

I reread The Velveteen Rabbit recently and was reminded of how important a cherished toy is to a child. Through happiness, sorrow and illness there are some comforts that are irreplaceable, for many children it's a stuffed animal. I have a worn and well loved stuffed animal that is my only childhood toy to survive through the dozens of moves I've done since college. My little stuffed dog is about 30 years old, is missing an eye, has had his ears sewn on again and again and is so soft and scraggly only I could love him like I do. A decade ago he was used as a prop in a play because just looking at him you can tell there are years of stories behind him.

I'm 40 years old now and that silly little stuffed dog has stayed by my side in my bedside nightstand through all the years I was married. He is once again out of the drawer and sleeping in my bed, usually under my real dog's head. 30 years later, I am still comforted by a toy. Maybe my stuffed dog is my reminder of innocence. Maybe it's the significance of its history in my life. Maybe it's just because he's soft. Regardless that little dog will be with me until the end of my days. Funny....but I don't think it's much of a coincidence that when I finally adopted a real dog (my beagle Eloise) she has the same saggy body and floppy ears of my cherished toy.

So this Christmas as you buy a special toy for a child in your life why not a copy of The Velveteen Rabbit or a soft stuffed animal. They will understand one day the magic of the story.