Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Do You Deja Vu?

I have the opportunity this week to step back in time. To literally step into a deja vu.

I've been invited to a dinner party hosted by a friend of 20 years who I haven't seen in over a decade. Those in attendance will be people who in my 20's were very important to me. I walked away over 10 years ago to start a new life and have happily followed new paths ever since.

So I'm wondering, if you had the chance to re-visit a past life...would you?

My decision was fairly easy, I'm not interested but it got me to thinking...why not? When I was younger connecting with old friends was important. Like everyone else I've wondered how people who shared a part of my life ended up. Did a girlfriend I consoled through many a "frog" finally find her "Prince"? Did an old boyfriend get married to a woman who would watch football with him? Did the first couple I know to get married remain together or get divorced? It's natural to wonder but it's also reality that after awhile we just lose touch. In today's society we have the ease and laziness of connecting through Facebook and email. But I think really...maybe the connections just fade too much.

The party I have the opportunity to attend this week would give me a glimpse of a life I lived but also the people who I voluntarily left. They may be living in the same homes, dating the same people, going to the same places. Maybe they have experienced a hundred adventures, fallen in and out of love, changed careers or traveled the world. For me, in the decade since I lived a life with those people (and last saw them), I've lived a number of alternate lives and the idea of catching up over a few bottles of wine doesn't have the appeal it did when I was younger.

I want to remember that life and those people the way we were. Young 20 something couples and friends who loved and laughed, fought and partied, traveled and played...together. I don't want to see the reality of 40 something adults who might still be where I left them or maybe so different that reality will alter the history. There are no regrets, no questions or answers, no lingering loss. A poignant love is all that remains. So I will see them in my memories...not across the dinner table where time will interfere.

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